


stings like a bee

by Aminias



Series: every boy in history [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Fix-It of Sorts, Hatake Kakashi is a Troll, Humor, M/M, Madara is Prissy, Sitcom, Thousand Years of Pain No-Jutsu, Tobirama is a Grouch, rom com, team seven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 23:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13534812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aminias/pseuds/Aminias
Summary: When it looks like all hope is lost Kakashi uses a thousand years of pain no-jutsu on Madara.The natural course of action is to take him to dinner after.





	stings like a bee

**Author's Note:**

  * For [raendown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raendown/gifts), [ivegotpurple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivegotpurple/gifts).



> I know @itslulu42 @purple-possibilities but mostly @raendown inspired this if I missed anyone let me know :) 
> 
> My computer is out of commission and this was collecting dust and not moving forward so here it is

The Uchiha’s dark hair spills after him like a battle flag as he stands ready to win.

Kakashi knows it’s an Uchiha the pretty features and the Ice Princess walk is rather distinctive.

The wild red eyes look and mad conviction also cements his hunch.

Sasuke also wore that exact same look whenever he was lighting something on fire or speaking to Naruto.

Kakashi gives Tobirama a questioning glance.

“Madara.” The revived Senju tells him spitting the name.

“Ah,” Kakashi says. “I see.”  He distinctly does letting his eye appreciatively trail over the man's form.   _Shame about the hereditary crazy._

“Too bad Izuna isn’t here to knock some sense into him.” Muses the second Hokage. “Nothing else is likely to work.”

He barely stops himself from rolling his eyes. W _hat are the rest of us chopped liver?_ Canon fonder more like. Kakashi winces watching Madara mop the floor with Sasuke and Naruto. Sakura was far too clever and was engaged elsewhere. Naruto was still prattling on despite Sasuke's glaring, despite his efforts the talk-no-jutsu wasn’t working.

 _Knock some sense into him hmm?_  “Ma,” Kakashi grins hands already forming the jutsu. “I may have something.” His moved through the familiar motions fingers bending to shape the Jutsu.

“I don’t recognize those signs.” The Senju bristles at least he's stopped complaining about jutsu stealers and kids these days.

“It’s something of my own invention.” Kakashi admits.

“Curious.” Remarks Tobirama and that’s the end of the conversation as the Senju surges forward to provide an adequate distraction.

Kakashi seizes his chance and whirls into place hands coming together in his final attack.

“Did you just poke me?” Madara frowns an unreadable expression overtaking him as he pitches forward into Kakashi arms.

“A thousand years of pain no-jutsu.” The copy nin sighs and trusses him up with some ninja wire before tossing the man over a shoulder.

Kakashi pulls out his Icha Icha Tactics, it’s a long walk back to the village. . .

* * *

 

“You!” Madara snarls.

“Me.” Kakashi echo’s thumbing through his book.

“You-you-poked me in the butt.” The man trips over his words and settles for glaring. It’d almost cute if it weren’t for the killing intent and the fact he’s behind the majority of Kakashi’s life problems.

“I used a highly advanced Jutsu of my own creation with enough applied force to incapacitate.”

The Uchiha ruby red cheeks and the furious roar of rage he lets out has Kakashi ducking back behind Icha Icha Seduction.

“YOU PERVERT--- TOUCHING MY--TOUCHING!” He seems fixated on that word and Kakashi takes the time to read another paragraph.  “LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!” The past clan head demands. That way his lip is jutting out is nearly petulant.

“Maa, Uchiha San you may want to lay back yelling isn’t good for your cholesterol they may have to tranquilize you.” He dares to poke the man on his nose and gets an offended hiss for his trouble and nearly loses his fingers.

Kakashi mimes innocence turning a page of his Novel.

The screaming continues followed by incredibly creative threats to his bodily anatomy. _Really he’s flattered._  It’s when Kakashi gets too close and Madara somehow manages to rip a part of his book that he threatens to summon the nurses.

“Are you ready to go to dinner now?”

“Dinner?” Madara questions that same unreadable expression back again.

“Yes, all this caterwauling has made me hungry.”

“I don’t caterwaul I proclaim.”

“So that’s a yes then?” Kakashi interprets. Madara’s eyes threaten to stab him from under his mass of dark hair.

“The man still seems flushed when Kakashi brushes past him but he nods stiffly and follows a grinning Kakashi out of the hospital.


End file.
